100 Things to Not Do in ThunderClan
by Tara Terra
Summary: Never do these.
1. Chapter 1

_Well, lets see what to not do in ThunderClan. Shall we_?

* * *

A mysterious cat with shadows in her fur walked alone through the skies toward the ThunderClan border. She knew that a time of great importance was about to begin and decided to attempt to disrupt things in ThunderClan to prevent the time from coming. She padded onward until she arrived to ThunderClan's camp and began to whisper suggestions to the cats.

The suggestions caused much chaos. Thunder, the first leader of the Clan, came down from StarClan and spoke to the Clan cats. He laid down some new rules that they had to follow.

* * *

1. Never put dog claws over your claws and saw you stole Tigerclaw's. He will be very angry.

Swiftpaw was bored. As he was wondering what do do, he thought he heard some cat whisper to him, find a dead dog and take its claw and put them on while pretending to be Tigerclaw. Swiftpaw looked, but no one was there. He decided to take the claws and pretend to be Tigerclaw, as Tigerclaw was out on patrol. He was just walking around in them when...

"SWIFTPAW!" Tigerclaw screamed

* * *

2. Never dare Cinderpelt to cross the Thunderpath. It is rude and she will feel bad.

"Hi Cinderpelt," Swiftpaw said, "Can you show me how to properly cross a Thunderpath?"

Cinderpelt burst into tears.

* * *

3. Also, for reasons stated in 2, never ask her how Silverstream is.

"Cinderpelt, I heard that the first cat you help give birth was named Silverstream. How is she?" Brightpaw asked.

Cinderpelt bust into tears again.

3a. Don't ask Graystripe either.

Swiftpaw walked up to Graystripe and said, "Graystripe, how's your mate, Silverstream?"

Graystripe ran into the forest before any cat saw him cry and before he murdered Swiftpaw.

* * *

4. Don't tell Tigerclaw to lighten up. He will claw you.

"Hi Tigerclaw!" Swiftpaw said. "You seem grumpy today, why not lighten up?"

"SWIFTPAW!" Tigerclaw yelled as he chased the apprentice to punish him.

* * *

5. NEVER tell Goldenflower that you killed Bramblekit because he looks like Tigerclaw.

* * *

6. NEVER ask Brightheart how Swiftpaw is.

6a. Or if she is a mutant.

6b. Or call her ugly.

6c. It is very cruel and Cloudtail will kill you.

* * *

7. Don't call Cloudtail a kittypet, he has sharp claws.

"Kittypet," Darkstripe muttered.

"What did you call me?" Cloudtail bristled and clawed Darkstripe.

* * *

8. Don't tell Bluestar you killed Mistyfoot and Stonefur. You will suffer a painful death.

A rouge cat that had been spying on Bluestar and Fireheart had learned that Mistyfoot and Stonefur are Bluestar's kits. He walked up to Bluestar one day when she was alone by the border and he spoke to her.

"I killed your two RiverClan kits." He said maliciously.

Bluestar unsheathed her claws and sliced the rouge's throat open, killed him. She hid the body and while washing her paws in a stream, glanced toward RiverClan and saw Mistyfoot and Stonefur, alive and well.

* * *

9. Don't cover the fresh kill pile with fish.

Dappletail and One-eye pawed through the fresh kill pile. It was all fish. "Are we still being punished for taking that RiverClan fish so long ago?" they wailed.

9a. Or frogs

"Frogs? Really? Is that all you could catch?" Bluestar scolded the apprentices.

9b. ThunderClan will not eat them.

"Ew, the fresh kill is unedible today." Halftail moaned.

* * *

10. Never plot to kill Bluestar. Fireheart will stop you.

"Hey Cloudpaw, let's play a game,"Swiftpaw suggested.

"Sure, what?" Cloudpaw replied.

"Take over the Clan." Swiftpaw stated.

"Cloudpaw, Swiftpaw, extra duties. Now." Fireheart ordered them.

* * *

_So, anyone guess who the mysterious cat is? What do you think of Thunder telling the new rules?_


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, here's more._

* * *

The cat with shadows in her fur crept to the ThunderClan camp. She snuck into the warriors den and once again whispered suggestions to the cats as they slept. She was determined to rip the clan apart by making them mistrust each other.

However, one again, Thunder arrived in ThunderClan and began to set down more rules to the cats and to restore peace.

* * *

11. Never pretend to be Scourge around Tigerstar. He will try to kill you.

12. Never pretend to be Socks or Ruby around Scourge. He will torture you and most likely kill you.

13. Never tell ShadowClan that you are the reincarnation of Brokenstar.

13a. Or tell WindClan

13b. Or ThunderClan

14. Never claim that you are the reason SkyClan left the forest.

15. Cloudtail no longer takes food from twolegs, please stop spreading rumors.

16. Tigerstar is not a real tiger.

16a. Nor is he part star.

16b. Will the cat that keeps spreading rumors stop? Or reveal yourself, the rest of ThunderClan would like to claw you.

17. Firestar is not on fire, if he were he would be dead.

18. Brambleclaw is not Tigerstar Junior.

19. Graystripe is not cursed, nor is he bad luck charm for she-cats.

20. No, Firestar does not have a harem.


	3. Chapter 3

_Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it._

* * *

The shadowy cat crept back to the territory of the Clans to sow more seeds of chaos. The light hit her, revealing that her pelt was see-through, and tortoiseshell. This time she decided to cause trouble for a few other cats besides those in ThunderClan.

Thunder once again had to step in.

* * *

21: Never tell Hawkfrost he isn't fit to be deputy.

21a. Or Mistyfoot

21b. Or Brambleclaw

22: Never claim Onewhisker is not fit to be leader

23: WindClan are not "Firestar's kittypets"

24: Midnight is a friendly badger, not evil.

25: Cloudtail is not cheating on Brightheart with Daisy. He is just an idiot.

26: Do not ask Sorreltail how Sootfur is, or how Cinderpelt is.

27: Crowfeather does not have a cursed love life.

28: Ashfur does not have plans to take Leafpool as his mate to get back at Squirrelflight.

29: Stormfur does not have loyalty issues.

30: Hawkfrost was not killed by karma.

* * *

_So, here you are. How would you guys like it if I did a story of 100 things to never do in ShadowClan? Or should it be RiverClan? Or WindClan? Tell me in your reviews._


	4. Chapter 4

_So,time for the next ten things in this fanfic. Enjoy, and keep reading 100 Things to never do in ThunderClan. 100 things to never do in ShadowClan is on its way._

* * *

The tortoiseshell cat with shadows in her fur crept to ThunderClan's new territory. She once again whisped her cruel suggestions to the cats. As she left, Tigerstar met her and walked with her.

He said to her, "I admire your ambition, Mapleshade."

Thunder was sent by StarClan, again, to fix things in the Clan.

* * *

31. Squirrelflight, though hyper, is not the result of Firestar cheating on Sandstorm with a squirrel.

31a. Not even a flying one

32. You did not go on the Journey to Find Midnight, quit telling the kits you did.

33. No, Daisy is not a flower

34. Will the cat spreading rumors stop?

34a. Who is this cat?

34b. How is this cat still alive?

35. Never tell Ashfur that he is insane. He will not believe you.

36. No, Berrykit will not have his name changed to Notail.

37. Tigerstar may be dead but he can still hurt you, so don't insult him.

38. Spottedleaf is not stalking Firestar's family. She does visit other cats.

39. Stormfur is not homeless.

39a. Nor is Brook

* * *

40. Hawkfrost may be overly ambitious, but he is not to be ridiculed.

"Hey, look at me, I've got such a good idea about the island." Squirrelflight said, strutting around while Hawkfrost was attempting to speak.

"Why, you little.." Hawkfrost shouted as he jumped off the stump and charged at Squirrelflight.

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_I hope you liked the update. Reviews are welcome and read my other stories as well._


	5. Chapter 5

_What is going on in the Clan this time?_

* * *

Mapleshade entered the territory of the clans to torment a new generation of cats. She was begining to enjoy herself.

Thunder had to step in again to fix things. He was wondering if there was a cat somewhere that enjoyed watching him attempt to fix ThunderClan's problems.

* * *

41: Squirrelflight is not a bad mother because she leaves the nursery a lot.

42: Jaypaw does not like pity. He has a sharp tongue.

43:Daisy is not a kit machine.

43a. Nor is Ferncloud

44: Berrypaw was not dropped on his head as a kit.

44a. Nor was Breezepaw

44b. Even though they are both annoying

45: Jaypaw does not enjoy being a medicine cat.

46: Thunder does not enjoy fixing the Clan's problems.

47: Mousefur does not like it when cats are rude to her.

48: Tawnypelt is not ThunderClan's spy.

49: ThunderClan is not a collection of rouges and kittypets.

50: Greystripe is not dead.

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_I hope you liked it. Read and Review. Please read my other stories as well._


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